A couple of days ago we posted that story about Joel Branstrom, the former Kansas walk-on and current-day Biology teacher, who willingly took part in a prank put on by the students of the Olathe, Kansas high school where he teaches.  You probably remember, since this video has circled the globe about twenty times, but I’m re-posting it here.  All those students think they’re putting one over on this man, telling him there is a prize of some Final Four tickets waiting on him if he hits this half court shot.  Assuming he’ll miss the shot, the students are supposed to cheer like he actually hit it, and then they get to laugh at Mr. Branstrom when they tell him the truth — that he really missed the shot and there were no Final Four tickets anyway.  Would have worked out great — except that Branstrom drilled it.  And when it came time for the students to make with some tickets, of course, there were none.

The best part about this, knowing that Branstrom eventually sinks the shot, is the few moments before he lets it sail, when you look at the crowd and all the kiddies are snickering to each other about how they’re really getting the best of this guy.  They’re all giggling and having trouble containing themselves, satisfied that this will be payback for that tough exam from last week or the time he made them dissect frogs.

Well, the joke’s on you, kids!  Who’s the big winner today?  Joel Branstrom’s the big winner, and he will be taking some time off in the spring.  Why?  Because, as he told the media today, someone came through with some Final Four tickets.  In the ESPN report, he said he can’t reveal who this ticket-wielding Deep Throat is, but he and his family are getting transportation, tickets, AND lodging for that weekend.  If I were Branstrom, unless the source is obviously legit, I’d do some vetting and make sure that this isn’t the REAL prank, or that the person providing my tickets won’t be asking me for, you know, any favors someday.  Then, if everything checked out, I’d laugh my butt off as I scheduled about thirty pop quizzes in the week leading up to the Final Four, making them so tough that Stephen J. Freaking Gould couldn’t get half the points.

A few hours before their game at South Carolina this evening — you’re sure to see a clip of this on ESPN’s coverage and probably on SportsCenter — John Calipari and his Kentucky team were summoned to the phone for a call from a fairly famous fan of college basketball — President Barack Obama.  The call was one of gratitude to Calipari and his boys as a result of their efforts in helping to raise over a million dollars in aid money (that dinner with Ashley Judd at Calipari’s house going for a hundred grand didn’t hurt) through Calipari’s Hoops For Haiti initiative.

I spent my college years like a great number of people who are fortunate enough to get to go at all.  You know, organizing my schedule so I didn’t have to get up before 2 PM, eating a lot of pizza, hitting on co-eds, doing the Greek thing, maximizing my time in pubs and on golf courses, that kind of thing.  And that’s when I wasn’t watching college basketball, or tapes (yes, freaking VHS tapes) of games in the off-season.  One thing I wasn’t doing was taking calls from the President and joking with him about how we needed to play horse or how I’d hopefully get to chill with him in the summer.  Of course, I wasn’t raising over a million bucks for natural disasters with a group of my friends, either, so there we are.  Despite their status as BMOCs on the Lexington campus — and pretty much the rest of the state save for small parts of Louisville — even that can’t compare with conversations with world leaders, especially when they’re giving you some serious props.  You can see some nerves on the part of the players, and definitely from John Calipari.

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College basketball fans over the age of 20 undoubtedly remember the 1997 Kansas Jayhawks, a team that was 34-1 (its only loss coming on the road at rival Missouri) heading into its Sweet 16 match-up against a 21-9 Arizona team. That Jayhawk team was coached by Roy Williams (back when he was known for his inability to win the big game) and featured Jacques Vaughn, Raef LaFrentz, Scot Pollard, and a talented sophomore named Paul Pierce. Coming into the game the Jayhawks were heavily favored with good reason having compiled that record despite having Vaughn sit out most of their non-conference schedule with an injury.

As you know things didn’t work out Roy’s Jayhawks. That night Lute Olson and the Wildcats pulled off one of the great upsets of the decade. In retrospect, looking at the talent on the Arizona team it shouldn’t have been that shocking since the underdogs had the eventual tournament MOP (Miles Simon) along with future NBA stars (Jason Terry and Mike Bibby). Still at the time the result shocked the nation. Despite a valiant effort from Pierce who had 27 points (on just 13 FG attempts) and 11 rebounds, the Jayhawks needed a flurry of late 3s to cut into the Wildcats lead. After Bibby hit a couple of late free throws to extend the lead to 3, the Jayhawks were forced to attempt several desperation 3s to try and force OT.

When LaFrentz’s 3 from the corner fell short Roy Williams was dealt one of the most devastating losses of his career. To this day, many Kansas fans still have a hard time getting over the game. Ironically Roy may have had the one player capable of hitting a 3 to earn a trip to the Final Four sitting on his bench. . .

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Since you obviously love college basketball, you’re probably aware of some of the goings-on involving a few of the more storied programs in the game: Kansas lost their #1 ranking a couple of weekends ago and some players are said to be unsure of their roles on the team; North Carolina has dropped three straight and just barely managed to stay in the latest Top 25; Connecticut looks bewildered and is out of the rankings; despite having a brilliant coach, this is one of the worst UCLA teams in our lifetime; and just last night, Texas lost at Kansas State, and, after enjoying it for only two polls, will likely drop from the first #1-ranking they’ve ever had.

Meanwhile, in Lexington, John Calipari is defecating bars of gold.  OK, I know — we can’t prove that.  But would you be surprised?  In the last several days, the University of Kentucky basketball team (and anything having to do with it) has enjoyed a tidal wave of positive energy of which there is no rival in recent memory.  Let us relive the recent days of the Kentucky program, shall we?

Strong work, sir.

First — and there’s only one place to start this list — there was the Hoops For Haiti telethon that Calipari came up with and threw together in a matter of just a few days.  This past Sunday, on local Lexington television station WKYT (who donated their own studio time, eschewing commercials), Calipari and some personalities from the station emceed while members of the Kentucky squad sat behind them and took telephone pledges.  Even after the players were relieved of their posts, the phones kept ringing and the pledges kept coming in, largely because part of the deal here was that every pledge would be matched, or doubled, by a group called Cal’s Pals For Haiti.  Several names from the world of college hoops called in and donated, including Dick Vitale, Texas head coach Rick Barnes (the irony!), Jim Boeheim (who was reportedly pretty funny), and Cincinnati Bengals coach (and NFL Coach of the Year) Marvin Lewis.  Ashley Judd, a UK alum — like you didn’t know that — made a taped appearance, but is responsible for a few things in the accompanying auction.  In a textbook display of class, ex-UK coach Tubby Smith called in to the show and made a live donation.  We at RTC don’t really get mushy over stuff, but this feat is impressive, to say the least.  Kentucky is the 44th-wealthiest state in the country, and though it has all classes represented among its populace, it’s safe to say that in several cases people who called in and donated money could not afford to, but still did. With the matching funds, so far, the venture has raised over a million dollars.

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K-State Leaves One Unbeaten Left

Kansas State has beaten #1-ranked Texas tonight, which leaves Kentucky as the sole unbeaten survivor.  K-State was actually favored in this game since they’re #10 and the game was played on their home floor.  Combine that with the fact that Texas played a tough one at home against Texas A&M a mere 48 hours ago, and this becomes a little less surprising.  All credit to the Kansas State Wildcats, though, for hitting the boards in force and taking down their conference-mates off that big, target-laden pedestal.

Kentucky’s next game is Saturday at home against Arkansas.  Assuming they get past it, they’re number one at this time next week.  Despite the above fan’s allegiances, it was actually Jamar Samuels and Curtis Kelly who did most of the damage for the Wildcats.

More on this later tonight in the ATB, which will actually cover the weekend’s games as well.

In the wake of Jerry Wainwright’s firing at DePaul, the Big East hot seat formally shifts to Rutgers University and the Scarlet Knights’ head man, Fred Hill.  Hill is in his fourth year at the school, and he is noted for his fiery personality and the occasional ability to get a hotshot recruit to stay close to home (see: Mike Rosario from Jersey City).  He isn’t particularly known for winning, however, as his RU teams have gone 41-66 (.383) overall and a horrid 8-47 (.145) in the very difficult Big East Conference over that period.  With recent news that injured forward Gregory Echinique will transfer to another school next year, and rumors that Rosario may not be far behind, former Hill player JR Inman (2005-09), now playing in Japan, took it upon himself to pile on Hill’s misfortune.  In a big, big way. 

Inman (seated, left) and Hill During More Pleasant Times

Initially we had concerns as to the authenticity of this information allegedly posted to Inman’s Facebook page today, but NJ.com believes it to be authentic, and it’s too alternatingly bizarre and hilarious for us not to excerpt it even if Inman didn’t actually pen it.  If you want to read the whole thing, as of now you have two options.  You can go here (which requires free registration), or you can read it on the Seton Hall message boards.  The message is sometimes grammatically painful, other times amusing, and a few times downright mean, but one thing can be inferred without logical modeling — Inman, who feels that the reason he’s playing in Japan rather than for the Knicks, is no fan of Fred Hill. 

On Hill in general:

What you guys don’t know is just how much of a scum bag this guy really is and guess who’s about to air his punk ass out. Me.3 years ago Fred Hill stole the Head Coaching Job from the Coach who recruited me to Rutgers Gary Waters. Since then the program has been in complete turmoil. Among many excuses Hill has been using to justify his lack of success, the biggest one was “Jr Inman”

The best line we’ve heard in some time, about anything, anywhere:

I feel bad for my fellow teammates that are still thier cause it is about to get really ugly.I don’t want to put all of Fred’s buisness out thier. I’m sure youll read about it in the Newspapers within the next couple of weeks but I just want the public to know one thing. “It took 3 years for Fred Hill to cook his steak of turmoil but the check for the dinner is coming due” 

And how he feels that Hill ruined his career:

I wish Fred would call my cellphone talkin [redacted]. If I was 30 years older, 10 inches shorter and a [redacted], I would go to the rac right now and punch Fred Right in his face. […] Initially I wanted to take Fred to court and sue for defamation of charecter. My senior year in college I took an employment in law class and we learned about that. During class I would sit there mesmorized realizing that everything we learned in class I have experienced first hand thanks to your boy Freddy. My close friends know how much I dreaded coming from practice because of Fred Hill. He literally turned me into a psycopathic disfunctional human being for my entire senior season.

Wow.  We haven’t seen a player throw his ex-coach under the bus like this since… ever?

Much more on this weekend’s ATB wrapup later, but how about Bruce Pearl’s Tennessee Volunteers, staring adversity in the face and having it slink away with its tail tucked?  The #1 Kansas Jayhawks ran into an emotionally-charged, feisty and gutty UT team this afternoon that showed pluck and heart despite losing four players to dismissal/suspension.  Credit to Bruce Pearl for doing what he does best – getting his six scholarship players and walk-ons to internalize their difficult situation and play the underdog role to a T.  Congrats to his team are in order.  College basketball at its finest!

Pearl Uses the Underdog Role Exceptionally Well

Oklahoma hasn’t been all that impressive this year, so there hasn’t been a lot of hype for their talented corps of freshmen — Steven Pledger, Andrew Fitzgerald, Tommy Mason-Griffin and Tiny Gallon.  The 6’9, 300-lb Gallon has been particularly impressive, averaging 12/9 while shooting 60% from the field in thirteen games this season.  It was one of his few misses, though, that made his Q rating jump off the charts overnight.  From last night’s OU game against Gonzaga…

That’s just nuts.  It didn’t even look like he put his full body weight into it.

We all know that Kentucky-Louisville rivalry went up a notch or twelve when the state’s flagship university hired Rick Pitino’s BFF John Calipari to take over the reins in Lexington, right?   As we head into the Bluegrass State’s annual civil war with fans on both sides getting a little testy, we’re presented with one enterprising contractor/UK fan who looked to fire the first shot by leaving his mark on the Cards’ under-construction new downtown arena.  From the Louisville Courier-Journal:

WHAS-11’s Sky11 got a picture of something that may have never been noticed if not for a keen eye.  As you can see, someone inserted the UK logo into the freshly poured concrete at the new UofL arena site.

Yeah, this is going to be good.  The media crush alone signifies the importance of this game.  See ya Saturday afternoon in Lexington.

As if we weren’t already immature enough here at RTC, this season we figured we’d regress further into our childhood years and come up with a Christmas list, each participant naming one or two things we’d like for ourselves and/or the game of college basketball.  As you can see, the answers ranged from the practical to the impossible, the civil to the…well, hostile.  Above all, we hope that you, our faithful readers, will have a happy, healthy, hoop-filled holiday season.  Enjoy the list, and thanks for being here.

Zeitlin totally owns this tie. No need to get it for him.

rtmsf, RTC founder/editor/contributor:

All I want for Christmas this year is for a titanium-based super extra force field with double-secret password protection to be built on, around, above and under the current NCAA Tournament format.  Seriously, I want this thing to be more hermetically sealed than Tiger Woods’ brand-new Swiss bank accounts or Jerry Jones’ new face.  Please, Santa, no matter what the rest of these guys ask for — the new rear spoiler for nvr1983, a clue with the ladies for Stevens, that ridiculous jumpsuit for Hayes, and whatever Penn nonsense Zeitlin wants this year — just throw away their lists.   Please.  The single most important thing you’ll find on anyone’s list this year is mine (ok, I say that every year, but I mean it this time).  The possibility that some television money-men and NCAA decisionmakers long on greed but short on perspective and common sense support the idea of expanding the single most exciting and grand spectacle in all of sports to 96 teams should appall your jolly sensibilities.  If you can make this happen, Santa, I promise to be good all year round; I’ll even send in that cash pledge this year I keep promising to do but never do, I swear.   Thanks.

–Signed, 65 is Enough.

Hands OFF.

nvr1983, RTC  editor/contributor:

1. The NCAA finally gets a sense of reality and actually go after some big name programs instead of focusing on the relatively little guys.  Sure, Memphis and Renardo Sidney were involved in some shady dealings, but was it any worse than what USC has done over the past decade?
2. Have ESPN get ESPNU on every major cable provider or at least put those games on ESPN360.com
3. Go back to 64 teams.  Forget this talk about 96 teams.  I don’t even want the 65th team.  The play-in game has been a joke for years and everybody knows it.  It cheapens the tournament by making the official start of the tournament a game that even die-hard fans don’t care about.
4. Someone needs to fix this one-and-done rule.  I love watching these guys—Kevin Durant, Michael Beasley, Derrick Rose, and John Wall—play, but I know that I will never get to see them mature in the college setting. Either make them stay 4 years or let them enter the draft right out of high school.
5. Fire the guy running the clock at Hinkle.  Somebody has to get some coal this Christmas…

Here's your 1.3 seconds.

John Stevens, RTC editor/contributor:

I can’t lie, there are some things I want for the other guys.  Heck, this is the giving season, right?  I’d like nvr to remember how to sleep, since he rarely gets to.  I think it’d be nice if rtmsf’s, er, “rash” finally cleared up.  And yeah, there are some things I’d like for myself.  Michelle Beadle’s phone number.  Fran Fraschilla’s tweeting abilities.  But those are things I’d rather earn of my own efforts.  As far as gifts that revolve around college hoops, there’s just no way I can limit it to one thing.  Yes, I’m that selfish.  But I think I want things that everyone wants, so I’m willing to share.  I’d like Gus Johnson and Bill Raftery to be the implied #1 announcing crew for any weekend CBS game, even though I still love and respect Enberg, Lundquist, Elmore, Bilas, et al.  I’d like fewer TV timeouts.  I’d like the NCAA Tournament to be freaking left alone.  But most of all, what I want is for the rest of the season to be free of major injuries.  The Evan Turner fall was scary and he’s lucky it wasn’t worse than just a couple of fractured transverse processes.  After Derrick Roland broke his leg last night I went outside and sat in my car for half an hour just to avoid the television.  That’s gotta be it for the gruesome injuries.  I don’t want to watch Kansas or Kentucky or Duke or Texas or anyone come tournament time and think, “That’s not the same team, compared to when they had (x).”  It’s been too fun of a season so far to have some team’s chances ruined by a misstep or a freak accident.

"Rise and FIRE...." "ONIONS, Mr. Johnson!!" It has to happen.

Zach Hayes, RTC Bracketologist-in-Residence:

This one might cause some controversy, but I’d ask Santa for some duct tape for Dick Vitale.  Watching the Texas-UNC game on Saturday sent me over the edge.  His shameless self-promotion and constant hyperbole is incredibly irritating and the man fails to make one cogent basketball point from an analytical perspective the entire telecast.  His quirks and habits get extremely tiresome by December.  While others like Bill Raftery have their fun, they bring to the broadcast a true sense of the intricacies of basketball to further my understanding of the sport.  Jay Bilas is constantly providing enlightening analysis and former coaches like Bob Knight and Steve Lavin are tremendous.  Yet ESPN keeps giving us Dick Vitale in the biggest games so he can yell things like “I’ll tell you, Ed Davis has talent!” and “go onto dickvitale.com for my freshman of the year, coach of the year, fans of the year…”  It’s enough.  Santa, send me some duct tape so I never have to hear that old man screaming again.

We'll go ahead and cancel that interview request...

Dave Zeitlin, RTC Ivy League Correspondent and feature writer for Backdoor Cuts:

What I really want for the holidays is for Penn to beat Duke on New Year’s Eve.  But since the odds of that happening are about as slim as Isiah Thomas doing one good thing in his life, I have another wish.  I want big-conference coaches to stop whining about tournament expansion.  I mean, really?  Everyone knows college football is a joke because of the BCS, but let’s not turn college basketball into a joke on the other end of the spectrum by completely diluting the regular season.  Yes, I like the idea of more mid-major teams getting berths, which would be a side benefit to tournament expansion.  But here’s a better solution for that:  limit the number of berths for big-conference teams.  How about you have to have a .500 record in the conference and finish in the top half of your league to be eligible?  I’m tired of the sense of entitlement some of these coaches have.  You have a whole season AND a conference tournament to be one of the 65 teams to make the Big Dance — that should be enough.  Most of these guys should take a lesson from Bill Carmody, who in nine seasons at Northwestern has never guided the Wildcats to the NCAA touranament.  Still, he is against expansion, saying it would make every game a little less meaningful.  Merry Christmas, Bill.  I like you even though you coached at Princeton.

Mr. Zeitlin declines. But gives credit where it's due.