Digger Digs those California Girls…

Posted by rtmsf on March 2nd, 2009

(h/t Bruins Nation via Deadspin)

Clearly this was the tune streaming through Digger’s swiss-cheesed head throughout…

The west coast has the sunshine
And the girls all get so tanned
I dig a french bikini on hawaii island
Dolls by a palm tree in the sand

I been all around this great big world
And I seen all kinds of girls
Yeah, but I couldnt wait to get back in the states
Back to the cutest girls in the world

I wish they all could be california
I wish they all could be california
I wish they all could be california girls

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Larry Eustachy’s Version of the Stimulus Package

Posted by rtmsf on March 2nd, 2009

Hey, did you guys hear that a ‘reporter’ asked UConn coach Jim Calhoun last weekend if he, as Connecticut’s highest-paid public employee, planned on doing anything to assist with the nearly-$1B budget deficit that the state is facing?  “Not a dime,” Calhoun joked.  This story took on a life of its own throughout the entire last week, as various Connecticut legislators and public dignitaries weighed in on the weighty subject of Calhoun’s salary, not to mention the many in the chattering class who quickly and assiduously came to his defense.

Well, it’s high time for a positive story about a coach’s salary.  The NY Times’ college sports blog, The Quad, reported today that Southern Miss head coach (and former party dude) Larry Eustachy has decided to give back a $25,000 bonus that he earned based on various incentives.  From the article, Eustachy said:

“The university, fans and administration have been so supportive. I am part of the Golden Eagle family and I want the team and program to succeed more than anyone else does. To that end, until I can turn around the program I have told the administration that I do not want a contract extension and I will donate part of my compensation package back to Southern Miss to help during these difficult economic times. I want to win a championship at Southern Miss and I know that we can do it.”  Southern Mississippi Athletic Director Richard Giannini accepted Eustachy’s offer.  “I think it displays the sincerity he has for trying to turn the program into a successful program,” Giannini said. “I respect him for what he did. He knew the economic times we were having and we need to use every dime we can find.”

Larry Eustachy is Providing His Own Bailout

Larry Eustachy is Providing His Own Stimulus Package

We really have to try hard here to not take the cynical standpoint and view this as a last-ditch effort to save the job of a coach who has yet to  near matching the success he had at his previous stop, Iowa St.  In Eustachy’s five seasons in Hattiesburg, Southern Miss has yet to make an NCAA Tournament or an NIT, and at 14-14 this season there is virtually no chance of a postseason again this year.  It would be easy to put yourself in Eustachy’s shoes, thinking, after all, $380k (Eustachy’s base salary) isn’t as good as $405k, but it’s light years better than $0.

But there’s too much cynicism in this world already, so we’ll give Eustachy, a recovering alcoholic, the benefit of the doubt here.  It’s not like coaches who are clearly on their way out the door (ahem, Jerry Wainwright) make it a common practice to give back their bonuses in trying economic times, or like, ever.  So Eustachy should be genuinely commended for this selfless act – heck, something like this is so uncommon that Southern Miss should give the guy a lifetime contract for his largesse.

Now, if we could just get some of the other basketball CEOs around the nation who are regularly stealing taxpayer dollars to start giving something back.  Not to point fingers, but we’d start in Eugene, keep going east through Boulder and probably settle in Raleigh.  Just sayin…

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So Shaq Would Have Scored 500 g’s on the Dunkometer?

Posted by rtmsf on February 25th, 2009

We’re total suckers for this kind of thing (h/t TSN). 

Clemson University’s physics department (Clemson has a physics department?  who knew…) has come up with some contraption (pictured) that supposedly can tell us just how much force a basket is subjected to when a large athletic manchild decides to jump up, grab it, and throw an orange ball through the middle of it as hard as he possibly can.

This Looks Like Something Our Cousin Charlie Has Lying Around His Garage (photo credit: physorg.com)
This Looks Like Something Our Cousin Charlie Has Lying Around His Garage (photo credit: physorg.com)

We’re having a little trouble believing that Clemson could come up with something like this – a dunkometer – but if it’s actually reliable, score one for State U. over the nerds at MIT and Cal Tech.  According to the CU spokesperson, who doubtless was the guy with one of the lovelies pictured below: 

Ray Sykes had a nasty dunk at the East Carolina University game,” said Jonathan Cox, one of the students working on the project. “It peaked at a little over 30 g’s, one of the highest recorded so far. That’s awesome when you consider an earthquake’s ground motion produces accelerations around point five and one g.

Physics is Phun!!!
Physics is Phun!!!

So they’re saying that Ray Sykes’ dunk was 30-60 times more powerful than an earthquake?  What does that even mean?  Part of us wonders if this isn’t a prank by the three nerds at Clemson on the rest of the campus…  “see what happens when you put a 40 up there!…  watch how crazy they’ll get!”

We would be interested in learning what this particular dunk would have scored, though.  Probably 100 Hiroshimas combined with 50 earthquakes. 

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Duke’s Elliott Williams, Tiny Dancer

Posted by rtmsf on February 23rd, 2009

There’s been a lot of “Duke Love” around here today, so let’s continue the festivities with a Youtube video of Elliott Williams’ intrepretive dance routine known as The Pivot Foot from last night’s Wake Forest – Duke game.   (h/t Brahsome)

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Operation: Scheyerface v2.0

Posted by rtmsf on February 23rd, 2009

We knew there’s a reason we secretly love the lads from College Park.  In anticipation of Maryland’s Wednesday night game with Duke, let us present Terp fans’ latest and greatest evisceration of Duke on Facebook,  Operation: Scheyerface v2.0

Oh Yes.

Oh Yes.

Yeah You Got It!

Yeah You Got It!

Ready For Some of This?

Ready For Some of This?

Oh My.

Oh My.

Update:  850 the Buzz found an alleged transcript of more Maryland fan zaniness.  

“Hello, this is ****** with the Washington Times, sorry to bother you at this hour Mr. Paulus, but we are running a small piece tomorrow and I was hoping to take 2 minutes and ask you a question?”

Him: “Uhhh, sure”

“If you had to choose between Deron Washington, Danny Green, and Dwayne Collins, who’s nuts would you say tasted the best?”

Him: …click.

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Ken Mink no habla espanol…

Posted by rtmsf on February 22nd, 2009

College kids today… they just don’t take their schoolwork seriously.  Especially ones that haven’t taken a class in over fifty years.

(photo credit: Roane State College)

(photo credit: Roane State College)

Ken Mink, the septuagenarian who couldn’t be slowed by the ticking clock with respect to stepping on the basketball court and competing with players one-quarter his age, was declared ineligible by the National JuCo Athletics Association (NJCAA) due to a pesky Spanish class that he needed to pass.  From the FoxSports report:

Fearing he might fail the Spanish class, Mink said he enrolled in a Sociology class on another campus, hoping that a passing grade there would give him the credits he needed to retain his eligibility. But that class was apparently completed too late to apply to the semester in question.  “This is not an academic issue, it’s an administrative issue,” Mink wrote in an email to the News Sentinel on Friday. “… the NJCAA is ruling me ineligible because the NJCAA contends Roane State did not follow administrative procedures in restoring my eligibility after the NJCAA had questioned whether or not one of my courses was completed within the fall semester.  “Coach Nesbit supplied the NJCAA all the documentation proving my academic eligibility. Coach Nesbit knew I had met the requirements and restored me for play, but the NJCAA has contended the coach (or school) had not checked with the NJCAA a second time before restoring me to play.”

In what is becoming standard Mink-speak, it wasn’t his fault!  Recall that the given reason Mink was kicked off of his Lees (KY) Junior College team in 1956 was that he was falsely accused of spraying the coach’s office with shaving cream.  Fortunately for Mink’s version of this story, the aggrieved coach and his teammates are no longer alive or competent to answer questions.  Now we’re hearing from Mink that it wasn’t the fact that he failed Spanish class, it was that there was an administrative problem with his eligibility.  Somehow we’re having more and more trouble believing that Mink wasn’t involved as the evil mastermind behind the shaving cream incident a half-century ago.

What’s all this mean?  Well, Roane St. will have to forfeit a game from Feb. 7 against Hiwassee where he played and scored two points.  Given all these administrative headaches and public attention, maybe he should just shut it down and declare for the NBA Draft.

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Jim Calhoun Politely Requests You Get Him Some Facts

Posted by rtmsf on February 22nd, 2009

Weird incident after today’s UConn-South Florida thrashing.  Jim Calhoun was questioned by a reporter named Ken Krayeske, a local gadfly who was trying to make a point about the salary of the state of Connecticut’s highest paid official (i.e., him) during hard economic times, but it got lost in the back-and-forth which culminated in Calhoun yelling at Krayeske to “get some facts.”

What seemed to set Calhoun off was a question relating to something about a “Comcast deal,” and we’ll have to defer to our more enlightened UConn fans as to what that actually means.  A quick google search didn’t come up with anything relating to Calhoun and Comcast.  Of course, we’re not sure what Krayeske’s real beef was, as Calhoun’s salary isn’t paid from general fund dollars anyway.

Actually, our favorite part of this whole scene was the part where Krayeske made reference to himself having to ask such tough questions because “these guys won’t do it,” referring to the other reporters in the room.  There was a collective grumble reminiscent of the British House of Commons scenes we sometimes catch late at night on BBC.

We’ll update this if we learn more, but feel free to edify us in the comments.

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Did the Big Ten Ban the Shot Clock Tonight?

Posted by rtmsf on February 18th, 2009

No, this is not a typo…

penn-st-illinois

Penn St. really did win a 38-33 thriller in Champaign tonight.

Apparently, with six minutes remaining, the score was 31-24 in favor of the Illini, but PSU made a mad rush to outscore Bruce Weber’s team 14-2 down the stretch (a veritable blitzkrieg) to secure the win.  Or, as ESPN’s copy editors put it, Penn St. powered past Illinois.

The two teams combined to shoot 28-96 (.292) from the field and 6-33 (.180) from three, which by any objective measure is also known as an abortion on the court.  There were more bricks thrown up in this one than in Modesto and West Palm during the height of the housing bubble.   One of our earliest memories of basketball was this crime against hoops-manity which helped inspire the original 45-second shot clock in 1985-86; it’s nice to see that we can count on the Big Ten to set new modern records for offensive futility.  The combined total of 71 pts is the lowest output in four years (since Monmouth defeated Princeton 41-21 in 2005).  We have no idea how long it’s been for a BCS conference, but this might just be the worst of the shot-clock era.  Ugh.

penn-st-ill-2

We just saw ESPN break down the NCAA Tourney chances of both of these teams, and we’re disgusted that either of these teams are even in the conversation given the putrid display they each put forth tonight.  Oh, it was a defensive battle, right?

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Breaking: K-Ville Full of Deadly Bacteria

Posted by rtmsf on February 11th, 2009

We really shouldn’t laugh at this poor girl’s misfortune, but…  hey, she made her own bed by choosing to edumacate at Duke.  (and besides, she’ll be ok…).  From CNNSI:

A Duke University freshman has been diagnosed with meningitis after camping outside for a chance to see the men’s basketball game against North Carolina.  Officials said Wednesday the infection was caught early, and the student is expected to fully recover. Meningococcal meningitis, also known as bacterial meningitis, can be fatal if not treated early.

Caveat Emptor

Caveat Emptor

Actually we don’t feel that bad because ESPN is going to do its very best to make us feel as if we’ve had our own bout with meningococcal meningitis after repeatedly and arduously violating us with the Duke-Carolina hyperbole tonight.  So if we have to take it, so should she. 

Vector Lurking

Vector Lurking

They say that this bacteria is often transmitted by kissing – let’s just hope for Miss Undergrad’s sake, he wasn’t the vector.

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Rod Blagojevich Was On to Something…

Posted by rtmsf on February 6th, 2009

Ed. Update (02.08.09 @ 9:30pm EST) – the Ebay listing has been removed.  The below screen grab is the only evidence remaining.

ebay-unavailable

We all know that securing tickets to one of the annual Duke-Carolina matchups is a difficult task (particularly in the 9,000 seat Cameron Indoor Stadium), but sensing that change is indeed in the air, North Carolina state senator Eddie Goodall (R-Mecklenberg) has decided to offer his senate seat for a pair of tickets to next Wednesday’s game.  Channelling ousted Illinois Governor Rob Blagojevich, Goodall didn’t choose to reach out to Jesse Jackson, Jr.; rather, his choice of a targeted customer base was… Ebay?

john-goodall-state-senate-seat

See, Goodall has for some cockamamie reason put his actual senate seat, as in his chair, on Ebay.  We know the economy’s bad and all, but you’d think that the NC Senator’s salary of $13,951 per annum would leave him in much better shape than that.  Ok, probably not, but his tax and financial consulting business probably enabled him to buy the monogrammed $787.95 chair in the first place.  A CBS Sportsline report that broke the story today suggests that Goodall cannot legally sell either one of his seats – physical or political – which begs the question as to what his orginal motive was here.  He claims that the whole thing is an “elaborate goof,” but that rings about as hollow as the assertion of yellowcake in Niger.

We’ll have to wait to see what happens with the chair, but we can rest assured of one thing – Goodall may have played ball at UNC-Charlotte instead of Chapel Hill, but he’s clearly no Dook fan.

john-goodall-ebay-ad

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Sammy the Owl Channels Jonathan Xavier

Posted by rtmsf on January 29th, 2009

We’re wondering if Sammy was likewise on probation when he decided to confront head-butt the ref last night?

What’s in the water down there in Houston these days?  (h/t Houston Press via Deadspin)

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Well, That’s One Way to Avoid a Home Loss (bcc: Tom Crean)

Posted by rtmsf on January 29th, 2009

RTC typically doesn’t have a lot of SWAC coverage, other than our biweekly correspondent updates on the conference managed faithfully and superbly by HBCUSportsBlog’s inimitable JC.  But thanks to a loyal tipster (h/t Bluejay Basketball), we were alerted to a peculiar situation out of that bottom-dwelling league from a game earlier this week.   Er, almost a game.  From the Monroe (La) News-Star:

The Talladega College (NAIA) men’s basketball team arrived at Grambling’s Assembly Center on Tuesday expecting a game. There was no game to be played.  Talladega coach Matt Cross said the team was initially told that the scheduled 7 p.m. game had been delayed because referees were late in arriving, and 20 minutes later, Grambling officials told him the game was canceled because the Southwestern Athletic Conference had forgotten to schedule the referees.  “I said, ‘Can we reschedule? We’ll just stay another night,'” Cross said. “They said, ‘No, we’ll just cancel.'”

We’ve heard some harebrained excuses over the years (“sorry about that, but can you believe that I contracted malaria this weekend?”; “my ex called me out of the blue from Korea and said he wanted to get back together”; “I’m really just not into to guys anymore”), but this one certainly strains the seams of credulity.  The SWAC forgot to schedule the refs?  And no refs could be found within a day’s drive?  Hmmm….

More Like Grumbling State

More Like Grumbling State

Cross, to his credit, smells a dancing Tiger rat in Denmark.

Cross said he suspects there is more to the situation than a scheduling mix-up. He said Grambling just didn’t want to play the game. The Tigers (5-13 overall, 3-4 SWAC) were blown out at home 83-58 by conference rival Jackson State on Saturday, and Talladega already has four wins over SWAC teams this season: Alabama State, Alabama A&M, Southern, and Mississippi Valley State.  “They didn’t want to play the game,” said Cross, a Shreveport native. “They wanted to save the embarrassment.”

So Talladega boarded onto its bus and took the 7-hour trek east back home.  The school will still receive its $2500 guarantee for the game, but can you imagine if, say, Duke showed up at the Dean Dome next month and UNC said, “y’know, we couldn’t find any refs, so you’re just going to have to get on back to Derm.  It’s the ACC’s fault.  See ya!”  Absurd.

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