A John Stevens Holiday Wish List

Posted by rtmsf on December 23rd, 2008

John Stevens is a featured columnist for RTC.  His columns appear on Tuesdays throughout the season.

I can’t believe how I soaked my parents when I was a kid.  Right after Thanksgiving they’d start asking me to make a Christmas list so they could just go ahead and start buying me everything on it and I’d have yet another memorable holiday.  My sisters did the same thing.  True, we were good kids; we racked up enough academic and athletic achievements during the rest of the year to keep them stocked in stories to bore the crap out of their friends and the rest of the extended family with, but looking back on it, we were really lucky.  Still are.

These days, when Christmas rolls around, my wants are not of games for my Atari 2600, or life-size Shogun Warriors, or the like.  Today, I only ask for one thing for the holidays, and that is Time.  I want to sit in the recliner at our home in the country with a drink in one hand and a remote control in the other, my brain awash in college basketball images, Christmastime tournaments and match-ups lighting up my television screen until I can hardly remember my own name.  There will be family time, present-opening time, time for playing with the nieces and nephews of the family.  All of that is fantastic and it can’t be beaten.  But this year I’m especially looking forward to having the time to just devour Mom’s cooking, forget what my next obligation is, stay warm from the marrow-cracking cold outside, and enjoy some college hoops as we close the book on non-conference play for this season.

Santa is Checking John's Wish List

Santa is Checking John's Holiday Wish List

But make no mistake.  I’m a giver, as well.  I don’t just want those things above for myself, I want them for everyone.  And as I got a headstart on things this past Saturday by watching some freaking amazing games, I couldn’t help but wonder – what would be my college basketball wish list for this year?  Hey, sounds like a column idea!  So, here goes.  Six things I want inside the world of college basketball for this season.  Why six?  Because I say so.  I even ranked them for you.  You’re welcome.

John Stevens’  Holiday Wish List

#6.  Davidson to find other options. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE watching Stephen Curry and his lightning-quick release go nuts for 42/8/10, and I don’t want to minimize the work by Andrew Lovedale (13.5 and 10.1), for whom I actually feel a little sorry.  Its not easy being Salieri, is it?  Those are solid numbers and yet almost nobody knows this guy’s name.  But after him there’s just not a lot going on.  I think this is something we all suspected but didn’t want to admit because we’ve been mesmerized by Curry’s game, and we wanted to think this Stephen could lead this team to heights even loftier than last season.  That is yet to be disproved, but the Purdue game this past Saturday was damning.  Davidson’s tournament chances hinge on other options emerging when Curry is smothered by excellent defense like he was this past weekend, or when he’s just plain having a tough shooting night.  ESPN’s Pat Forde had a great article about this topic yesterday, incidentally.  We’ve seen what Curry can do as a virtual one-man show.  Now I’d like to see other fellows step up and for the team to go even farther even if it means that Curry might take a hit on his scoring average.

(Will settle for:  more amazing feats by Curry; no matter how deep Davidson’s tournament run, Curry is that enjoyable to watch.)

#5.  A nice airplane companion for my Vegas trip in March. I haven’t taken that many flights in my life, but the ones I have taken have been pretty lengthy and there’s only been one case where I had an enjoyable neighbor in the seat next to me.  I was flying to California this past Summer to attend a friend’s wedding and the fellow to my right just happened to play Division I college hoops about 40 years ago.  He told me stories of games he played against Wooden’s UCLA and Rupp’s Kentucky; the secret, behind-the-scenes stuff was amazing, some of the best sports stories I’ve ever heard.  I sat there motionless and listened until he got tired and actually had to take a nap.  But that was my only pleasant experience so far, as far as who I’ve had next to me on a plane.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?  You’re sitting there in your seat as the plane loads, watching who’s coming down the aisle, and every attractive girl who approaches you’re thinking, “Come on, come oooooon…” but then you end up getting some foul-breathed 400-pound pet store employee who didn’t have time for a shower that morning and wants to talk to you about how his life totally changed after he saw The Blair Witch Project.  I don’t care if you’re single, married, or whatever, if you’re a male and you’re flying alone on a long trip, it’s the same.  We all want the Padma Lakshmi or Robin Meade look-alike, or maybe the stray USC Song Girl, to slide into the neighboring empty seat, look at us with puppy-dog eyes and whisper to us about how she’s “the bad girl of the team” but, alas, doesn’t have a place to stay in your destination city.   Hasn’t happened yet.  Maybe someday.

Keep Dreaming, John...

Gals Like Her Don't Sit in Coach...

(Will settle for:  the plane to land in one piece, both coming and going.)

#4.  A Final Four for Gonzaga. I’m not affiliated with the place in any way – didn’t go to school there, never have even been to the state of Washington, though I’d love to visit – so here’s my thinking on this.  I’m hearing more and more alleged college hoop pundits using the terms “high mid-major” and “low mid-major” to denote a certain cadre of teams that…well, I probably don’t have to explain it.  A few years ago there were just mid-majors.  A few years before that there were just the big time programs and the rest of the world.  I kind of miss those days.  Now we have teams that actually feel insulted when you call them a low mid-major when they think they’re a high mid-major, and so forth.  That’s pure crap.  Gonzaga was the first team to really relish the “mid-major” moniker since I’ve been into this sport and they’ve certainly put in their time.  Mark Few has always come off as a perfectly nice guy and quite honestly his teams, without exception, play a brand of basketball that’s always been fun to watch for me, even though I can’t point to one particular thing that makes it so.  We’re long past the honeymoon phase with Gonzaga, meaning that it was one thing when they did well in the tournament while nobody was looking, but for over a decade now we’ve come to expect more from the Zags.  It’s important that they get to a Final Four when people actually expect something from them – like maybe this season.  I specifically admire Josh Heytvelt’s comeback and Austin Daye’s a pleasure to watch.  A Final Four would also move Coach Few more toward that elite level of coaches, which is due for a new member.

Another reason:  go back a few years to another Vegas trip.  Some of the boys and I are in the front row of a standing-only section of one of the sportsbooks watching the end of a game; the start of Gonzaga’s first game of that tournament was a couple of minutes away.  The Gonzaga supporters – and there were well over a hundred of them – gathered behind us and were definitely a polite crowd, meaning no pushing or jockeying to steal a spot in front of us, or anything.  And they certainly came prepared to support their team.  They were a fun lot, and definitely social.  Many of them started conversations with us and we shared a few beers and so on.  Pretty cool, eh?  Well, I noticed that from where I was standing, just behind and to the right of me was a pretty dark-haired girl in a big Gonzaga sweatshirt and an almost-empty beer in her hand.  I figured I’d maybe talk to her before the game started, so I turned to say hello, when, at that very millisecond, she takes a deep breath and, at a deafening volume, belts out:  “GOOOOOON-ZAG-UH BAAAAAAS-KET-BAAAAAALLLLL!!!!”  The crowd behind her echoed this offering.  I thought, “OK, she’s cool, probably knows the game, definitely loves her team.  Here we go…” and I turned around again.  What does she do?  She lets fly another, “GOOOOOOOOOON-ZAG-UH BAAAAAAS-KET-BAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!” at twice the original volume.  The crowd behind her really began frothing.  I was impressed on one hand but hoped she would be able to at least carry a conversation or scream another cheer.  I never really found out, because for the next two hours, at random times she would scream this same cheer, in the manner of the Detroit Pistons’ announcer Mason.  I never heard her say anything except that as she kept pounding those beers.  So, maybe if Gonzaga finally gets to a Final Four, this girl, wherever she is, will feel that her yelling has done its job and she can now preserve her voice, or learn another cheer.  In all seriousness, they were good fans, and they deserve a Final Four.

This Was Not Her

This Was Not Her

(Will settle for:  an iTunes gift card.)

#3.  Eric Devendorf to get this nonsense settled and rejoin his team. According to the ESPN.com article, Devendorf’s suspension for introducing his hand to a female student’s face earlier this year is that he has to complete 40 hours of community service before he can ask to be reinstated as a student by Syracuse University and resume his place on the basketball team.  The spring semester on the Syracuse campus starts January 12th and the Orange(men) have a game two days later at Georgetown.

Devendorf has said all the right things in the press since this incident, and he seems genuinely contrite.  He probably knows that to sock a female student in the jaw with the heel of your hand for any reason is the move of a black-belt douchebag and I’d speculate he understands the need for punishment.  Fine.  40 hours.  I say get it done as fast as you can, Eric.  Do a Monday-through-Friday, eight hours a day.  Better still, do four ten-hour days.  By getting it done quickly, you get it over with, and you send a message to your teammates that you really can’t wait to get back on that squad, if they’ll have you.  You’re showing them that you want to miss as little game and practice time as possible.  That ruling, in point of fact, came down on December 19th, which means that by the end of today you could been DONE with this if you’d have chosen the ten-hour-day option.  Whatever schedule you can set – the point is, get it done as fast as you can.  You’ll impress your teammates, you’ll fulfill your obligation, you’ll send a message to your coaches, and I bet you’ll return to the Carrier Dome to more cheers than anything.  Your team is good, but they’re better with you there.  Despite their curious history in the NCAA Tournament, they are a dangerous team this year and I wouldn’t want to be the guy responsible for Syracuse fans wondering how good they could have been.

(Will settle for:  Nothing.  This one’s not negotiable.)

#2.  An end to the objectification of Miss Erin Andrews. That’s right.  I’m going to be the champion for Miss Andrews’ cause.  I think it’s high time that we recognize the hard work this woman puts into actually being a journalist, interviewing coaches at halftime when they’re more annoyed than anything and don’t want to convey any real information to the viewers.  It’s thankless, and I for one want to say a big Thank You to Miss Andrews.  And on top of all that, she has to do it while most of the viewers are wondering how snug her shirt is or how high her heels are, probably not even hearing what she’s saying.  I can’t even fathom the catcalls she must endure from horny college kids while she’s just trying to do her job.  I even hear that some sports blogs actually use any possible reason to post pictures of her on their sites, hoping to generate cheap pageviews.  I am appalled!  Who, I ask you, WHO would do such a thing?!?  Anyway, I think we need to do a better job of showing her how much we love her reporting as well as her…*sigh*…looks.  And, I dunno, if Miss Andrews feels like talking about this subject with me, she can use the e-mail link for this site located at right, and perhaps we can discuss it over dinner.  Not that I said all that stuff above for that reason, or anything.

I Have No Objection to this Photo of Miss Andrews

I Have No Objectification to this Photo of Ms. Andrews

(Will settle for:  Not taking a beating.  You see what I’m doing there, right?  Remember that kid back in, like, the 8th or 9th grade who was friends with all the girls because he sucked up to them like crazy?  You know the guy, he always thought he could parlay that ill-gotten friendship into something else if he wanted (even though the girls knew it would never happen) once he got to high school, and he liked to rub your nose in it a little.  I ALWAYS wanted to administer a beating for the ages to that guy.  If you see what I’m doing with my above paragraph about Erin, you’ll exempt me from a similar throttling.)

(Will also settle for:  ESPN to make some airtime for another Andrews, namely Thea, who I always dug in a major way even though Cold Pizza was an abomination.)

And finally, the number one item on the John Stevens Holiday List for 2008 is:

#1.  A Duke fan to admit that…it’s getting to be a little much.
Well, this should be good.  It all started with those American Express commercials a couple of years ago where Coach K talked about how he doesn’t just prepare you for basketball, he also prepares you for life, etc.  Then I’m sitting watching the amazing United States victory over the Europeans in the 2008 Ryder Cup on TV earlier this summer and what do I see?  A smiling Krzyzewski on my TV screen doing a lead-in to the coverage about every hour; I mean, it’s a GOLF tournament.  And it happened in Louisville, which means that among college basketball coaches, Rick Pitino would have been a more appropriate choice.  It’s an event that Coach K’s mug should have been nowhere near.  In my opinion, the most mind-blowing example of the Coach K free pass is his weekly hour-long talk show on Sirius XM, called “Basketball and Beyond with Coach K,” now entering its fourth season.  It’s basically an hour of Coach K hanging out with special guests, talking about basketball, talking about life in general, talking about whatever he wants.

Many people have argued that these appearances by Krzyzewski constitute a recruiting advantage, and it’s a tough argument to refute.  He seems to be the only coach out there doing it, though it should be said that he’s probably the most desirable spokesman out there, as far as coaches go.  But honestly, in addition to everywhere else he shows up, the guy’s got an hour of satellite radio time every week where he kicks it with famous friends and espouses his opinions on just about everything – including subjects that might even come up during, oh, I don’t know…in-home and/or campus recruiting visits?

To be sure, I don’t know if these things provide much of a recruiting advantage; let’s be honest, even without Coach K’s extra appearances there’s a lot about Duke that sells itself.  We all know the place’s academic reputation, and the basketball program had reached elite status long before Krzyzewski started with the commercials/promos/radio shows/etc.  But the problem is that other coaches certainly don’t get to do these things.  Yes, Krzyzewski has created these opportunities through his achievements as a college basketball coach.  But let’s say Coach K retires tomorrow and Sirius XM decides to give a show to only one coach – say, Ben Howland, or Roy Williams, or Billy Gillispie, or Jamie Dixon.  It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the NCAA stepped in and nixed it, saying it provided an unfair advantage.  As chronicled by this very website, the NCAA chooses to apply its disciplinary bitch-slap in such strange and uneven ways at times – but THIS, a weekly hour-long pulpit for a coach – ANY coach – to freestyle about any subject he wants to millions of people – is allowed?  The NCAA claims to try to keep things fair, to keep the playing field even.  Is that what we’ve had for the past few years with Coach K preening himself as the official brand face and name of college basketball?

So that’s my number one wish for this holiday season.  One single Duke fan to admit that their coach, despite his successes, might just be getting away with something.  In the meantime, enjoy this clever YouTube spoof of Coach K’s AMEX ads.

(Will settle for:  a winning Powerball ticket.  I’m more likely to actually get that.)

Happy Holidays, everyone!

rtmsf (3954 Posts)

Share this story

7 responses to “A John Stevens Holiday Wish List”

  1. Ryan says:

    Erin is such a babe!!

  2. Aaron says:

    I was just poking around the internet when I came across your blog. I just have to tell you that I really enjoyed reading it. I though that your writing was excellent and that you really made some funny situations come alive, especially that airplane part… so true.

  3. John says:

    Hey, that is one of a long line of flash movies done by the fine sports people at the News and Observer in raleigh (the Chuck Amato ones were freaking awesome). Just because something is on YouTube, doesn’t preclude you from properly crediting the original creators.

    Also, the NCAA would get slapped with a lawsuit faster than Ty Lawson going down the court with a ball in his hand if they tried to ban any coach from having a radio show. Restraint of trade, monopolistic behavior, etc etc. I’d rather see the NCAA step in on the family members/AAU coaches getting hired to get a recruit, or getting appearance fees for speaking at basketball camps. It’s blatant buying of players, yet nothing has been done about it. (And yes, as a Duke fan, it is a recruiting advantage, but at this stage in his career, it adds little to K’s recruiting)

  4. Anonymous Blue Devil says:

    Yes Coach K is arrogant and seems to always get things his way.

    But that’s why we would not trade him for any other coach in the country. And that’s why every school would fire its coach to hire K if K wanted their jobs.

  5. jstevrtc says:

    Ryan: See?!? You’re part of the problem! How dare you. (wink)

    Aaron: Thanks! Much appreciated. Thanks for reading!

    John: Agreed re: the Chuck Amato ones. Those guys do a great job with all those. Let me address some of the other stuff…

    I consulted with the RTC Legal department and they agree — I’m not sure what you mean by ‘monopolistic behavior’ or ‘restraint of trade,’ but I’m not a lawyer. Maybe you mean anti-trust laws? Or right-to-work laws? I’m not sure either of those things applies here. I think by the letter of your statement, you’re correct. The NCAA probably couldn’t “ban” Coach K or any other coach from having a radio show. BUT, they could certainly say, “OK, we think this constitutes an unfair advantage and/or it unlevels the playing field. Here is the punishment we’ve selected…” They’re not saying that a coach can’t have a radio show or whatever. He/she can have a show as long as they want. But that coach can expect the same penalty as long as he/she HAS the show. So in that way they’d be pushing you toward not having a show.

    Now, this assumes the NCAA would actually do something about a coach — any coach — having a radio show like Coach K does, or whatever. Which they won’t. Not just because it’s Coach K, but also because it’s already been going on. I think they will have to address the issue at some point (what would you do if you were a “mid-major” and a bunch of BCS-school coaches had satellite radio shows, or 1/2-hour weekly specials on network TV, or something? Cry bloody murder, that’s what), but I don’t expect it soon. My problem isn’t necessarily with Coach K in this scenario — it’s with the NCAA, who says they want things to be as even and level as possible but clearly doesn’t do anything to that effect, but then DOES create rules on the fly regarding that pre-season practice loophole from earlier this year, or coaches contacting pre-high school players, etc. They choose little things to exert their influence on, and often ignore the big ones. It’s a VERY strange organization.

    As far as what you said about programs’ dealings with family members, AAU coaches, appearance fees, etc, that’s a darn good point. That’s such a murky area and again appears to be a place where the NCAA picks and chooses the battles it wants to fight.

    Anonymous Blue Devil: I can’t refute anything you said; I don’t know Coach K personally, but what I can say about him that’s for certain is that he definitely comes off as a confident gentleman (and why wouldn’t he?), he’s an unbelievable motivator, and one of the greatest basketball coaches ever.

    If you’ll let me run with this for a second, I think there’s a parallel between your thoughts about Coach K and how Yankees fans regard their organization. The Yankees aren’t doing anything wrong or breaking any rules by offering players large salaries that MOST other teams can’t compete with. They do this because they can, i.e. they have the means, and because it seemingly helps their organization, which itself has a mystique to it. To some, that makes the Yankees appear arrogant, or like they always get their way, as you say. But Yankee fans wouldn’t change things, and every other team in MLB would do this if they could.

    I’m slightly out of my element talking about MLB here, but I think you see the parallel. I only bring up this point because it brings up another as issue I find interesting, and that’s the “perception” of Duke as the NYY of college basketball. I have a few Duke alum friends who can’t understand why people don’t like Duke basketball, and I think your statement does a good job of encapsulating WHY so many people root against Duke. It’s the same reason people don’t like the Yankees. 1) They often win, and 2) they’ve created a holier-than-thou air about themselves while doing it. Goes to show you….my friends (and other fans of Duke hoops) can’t have it both ways. You can’t win like you do but then jump on other people because they don’t like you. Something Yankee fans have been dealing with for years. But hey — who cares as long as you’re winning?!?

    To everyone — thanks VERY much for reading, and thanks for the comments. Keep ’em coming, by all means! It’s great getting them. I sincerely hope you’re all enjoying the holiday season, whatever you’re celebrating. I just wish the college hoops Christmas tournaments would make a comeback.

    John Stevens

  6. Anonymous says:

    What about the way that the majority of college basketball coaches host local (FM) radio shows and TV shows for all to see? In fact, considering that XM/Sirius requires a subscription, these regular shows may reach even more people than K’s show. If the local radio/tv includes coverage in New York or another major market, should this be considered an unfair advantage?

  7. jstevrtc says:


    I had actually thought about this before you brought it up. The coaches’ shows and stuff are something the NCAA has allowed for a really long time, whether it’s a specific 30-60 minute show per week (very common) or just a pre- and post-game discussion with coaches that accompanies every contest (ubiquitous). Location isn’t a changeable aspect of a coaching job, i.e. a coach that takes a job in Topeka can’t expect his 30-minute/week show to be broadcast in New York City. The NCAA can’t be expected to make sure that happens. They don’t have the means or power to do so. Also, in NYC and other huge markets, the coach’s local college basketball radio or TV show has to compete for attention with numerous other things.

    The satellite radio show. however, gives Coach K (or whoever else it would have been) something extra. This gives him — from Durham, NC or wherever he chooses to broadcast it — access to the entire hemisphere without traveling a single mile, if he chooses. Maybe he’s just the first of many, who knows. And of course there are the other appearances I outlined in the original post, as well. But at some point, especially if other big-program coaches are awarded similar media access, I don’t think coaches from mid-majors and smaller schools will tolerate it, and the NCAA will have to come up with a position and enforce it.

    To John above: I forgot to ask you something in my previous long-winded answer, and I’m just fanning the flame, here. We agree about the shady tactics many (most?) programs employ to get recruits, i.e. regarding AAU/HS coaches, family members, etc. What was your position on the situation involving Chris Duhon’s mom?

    Keep the comments coming. Love it.

    John Stevens

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *