No, that’s not a euphemism. 

We received this email today suggesting that we invite our readers to enjoy an early viewing of this commercial through the miracle of Youtube.  It’s scheduled to debut during the between-game period of the Final Four on Saturday.  Ummmkay. 

So what do you think, dear readers?  Other than the fact that it completely sucks in every possible manner of cliched sucktitude, aren’t you now ready to make an appointment to get fisted by a probe handled by some sadistic doctor on Monday? 

Look, we’re sure there’s a good cause behind this 50 over 50 campaign – public health, getting the word out, etc. – but would anybody on earth actually recognize Kelly Tripucka in an airport line?  Or care?  Rick Mahorn?  Wasn’t he last seen rumbling with Lisa Leslie or somesuch?  McEnroe is ok (at least he’s recognizable to people), but it’s almost like someone at DDB scrambled around at the last minute saying “we have to find some BASKETBALL players!  Oh GOD… the spot will go up during basketball games!!!…” without any thought or understanding of who these players are or that they have absolutely zero connection to the event during which the commercial is debuting on Saturday.

Seriously, does this irk anyone else?  Couldn’t they have found some college coaches or even Bird & Magic (both around 50, both with 30-yr anniversary connections to CBB) to throw some money at for this commercial?   Tell us what you think below…

Somehow in the libational haze of last Friday night’s self-induced dystopia, we noted a strange factoid surfacing across the ESPN bottom-line crawler.  Tennis great Jimmy Connors, he of the former #1 ranking and a current Santa Barbara resident, had gotten into some kind of row with another fan outside the UCSB Thunderdome prior to the Gauchos’ game with #1 North Carolina, and found himself arrested.  The story got lost among all the football and hoops this weekend, but we wanted to make sure that we remembered it correctly.  Turns out, we did.  From the NY Daily News report:

Tennis giant Jimmy Connors was arrested outside a college basketball game in California for standing his ground, police said.  Connors, 56, was ordered to move away from the entrance of the Thunderdome just before UC Santa Barbara and top-ranked North Carolina were set to play Friday night.  The eight-time Grand Slam champ, known for his fiery temperament in his heyday, refused and was arrested, police said.

(photo credit: MensVogue)

We can only speculate as to who the other guy must have been or what he must have done to elicit such rage in Connors so that he would miss the once-in-a-generation opportunity for the local school (of which he supposedly is a fan) to host the nation’s #1 ranked team.  Hmmm…

Just thinking out loud here, but who fits that description?  What nemesis is capable of eliciting such rage so that Connors would refuse to comply with police instructions and move his arse?  Who could that have been? 

Oh, right. 

(photo credit: Ron Waite)