People have lots of differing opinions on all sorts of stuff. Usually, because they are them, their opinion is usually right while yours is most certainly wrong. Whether it is discussing important topics like global warming or more trivial things like an all-female cast of Ghostbusters, people have opinions and — well — you need to hear them out. Having fancy-schmancy opinions are fine. I mean that. I also mean that in the same way that having intimate relations with a bear is fine — as long as you know what you are getting yourself into, who am I to argue with what you want to do or say? Really, I am just a man who spews out opinions as well. It would be a bit hypocritical of me to tell you what you can or can’t think. Still, I wish people would think before they speak, type or whatever. Or, at the very least, look some stuff up before coming down hard on other people for things. Sure, we all get caught up in the gut reaction of seeing something live, and want something, whatever done about it, but maybe we should all be forced to take a little timeout and regroup before we start demanding things.

And. Here. We. Go.

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Kansas’ Perry Ellis is only a junior. I should probably repeat that one more time so you fully understand what I am trying to say. Perry Ellis, the guy who missed a layup at the end of the game against West Virginia and has seemingly been on Bill Self’s roster since Nixon was in office, is only a junior. This baffles the ever-living poop out of the insides of my cranium. I honestly thought he was at least a senior. Maybe it was his hairline being deathly afraid of his eyebrows or the fact that I sincerely remember him posting up Danny Manning at a practice at one point, but not only is he still an unpaid laborer, but he still has another year left to do all sorts of basketball things for free. This must be a huge, huge advantage for Kansas. Forget whatever happened against West Virginia and Ellis losing track of how much time he had and forcing his layup attempt. Bill Self has something just gosh slam amazing at his disposal. Seriously, having the eleventy-billion year old Perry Ellis is all the positive adjectives. All of them — even gnarly!

Amazingly, Perry Ellis is Only a Junior at Kansas (USA Today Images)

Here is a quick list of things Kansas should be grateful for while having the AARP-subscribed Ellis on the roster:

• Wise
• Discounts (you know he shares)
• Perspective
• Stories about ‘Nam
• Has been through two financial crises (great financial advice)
• Can shoot through a peach bucket
• Can hunt bears with his bare hands because old
• Great academic tutor (by now he likely has 67 different degrees)
• Hygiene tips (he looks good and clean for a man in his sixties, in my opinion)
• Can recite the script from Gone With the Wind line-for-line
• Bill Self’s grandfather (can help pass along the message)

There happens to be far more things I can list, but most are NSFW and don’t fit nicely into a bullet point type font thingamabob.

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Saturday Night Live had its 40th anniversary the other night. On Sunday, in fact — which is like going into space to celebrate scuba diving, but whatever. Still, Lorne Michaels managed to grab every relevant comedy star in the world as well as the decomposing corpse of a few others who most viewers forgot were ever a thing. The event apparently garnered huge ratings and even beat out the NBA as far as eyeballs to the picture-box goes. It should be noted, though, that SNL had about 60 different top A-ish level guys on the show to get such a high rating. That would be like gathering the top 60 basketball players ever to play in a single tournament on one night — of course people are going to watch. However, I wasn’t as enamored with the whole thing. While many people were saying how great it was or how awesome it was to see (the apparently not too happy to be there) Eddie Murphy, I was concerned about the oversights.

SNL40 Had Its Moments But Its True Value Was in the Assembled Cast

Circling back to the Ghostbusters thing: SNL had two of the original cast members in attendance and ALL FOUR of the reported new ones. Why couldn’t they cook up a quick sketch with all of them? Instead they relegated Dan Aykroyd to singing with the less talented — and somehow even deader — Belushi brother in a Blues Brothers thing (John Goodman should have been singing with him instead). Even most of the sketches missed their mark. I know. I know. Most people loved it and maybe I am being a greedy Jerkface Magoo, but I demand greatness! I grew up watching SNL. My friends and I used to do a “comedy show” and do sketches because we wanted to be on the show. I mother-loving heart that show. I heart it so much that my eyes are bleeding just thinking about the first time I realized that the cast members were all insane people put on this Earth to entertain me.

I will give everyone on that show credit, though. Not really credit for the 40th anniversary, but credit for having the stones to do what they do for a living. It only looks easy because they make it seem so. Comedy is a weird thing. As you can tell if you have read any of A Column of Enchantments of the past, I rely upon the jokes to make up for the fact that I mostly suck at stuff — and I’m not even a good joke-teller. I don’t even have to do it in human form either. I just scribble words. Comedians, sketch performers and the rest have to do so in front of an audience and often times it makes them look desperate. That’s mostly because they are desperate — desperate to hear you giggle. So giggle, damn it!

Now, I am not one of the people who wants to bury the program every single year. I do tend to like certain performers more than others every time a new assembled cast is put together, while most of you Bastion Boogers act like you hate them all until they become famous in movies; then you say how awesome they were, but I think this is a really good young crew they currently have. Like a college basketball team, though (see, it is related to sports!), it is going to take time to get some of the chemistry built up, feel more confident and take more risks. With all of that now said, I do think that far too many have forgotten about a certain other comedy sketch show that is nearing its 25th anniversary. Not for the sake of me sounding like a slightly older person trying to trend hipper, but I do hope something gets put together to celebrate that one as well. Without all 57 Wayans doing what they did, SNL wouldn’t be here today. Competition is good.

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Off with Seton Hall’s Sterling Gibbs’ head! Well, that’s what everyone is saying. Apparently a two-game suspension isn’t good enough for most people. Those are probably the same people we could blame for the overcrowding of our prison system. I mean, they are the same folks that want to sentence the 18-year-old guy from Scranton to 40 years because he stole a trampoline from an abandoned daycare, right? First thing is first: Gibbs was super-apologetic afterward. He didn’t say he was sorry to his fans or his brand or anything else that really didn’t need an apology; he said he was sorry to Ryan Alotofvowelo (patent pending). That doesn’t mean he gets off scot-free, but it should mean something. Not to mention, you know, he is a kid — which brings us to another point. Why in the world are we ignoring the actual problem here? The whole Seton Hall thing becoming a gosh slam disaster? I know the answer and, unfortunately, it is sad. It’s because it is far easier for people to blame a powerless unpaid worker than it is to look at the far more complicated issue of grown paid adults not being able to control stuff.

Sterling Gibbs Made a Mistake, Owned It, and Was Punished For It. (USA Today Images)

I don’t care if I get all the unfollows on the mean streets of Twitter, but if you want the hammer thrown at a kid playing basketball for free then I don’t want you to hang around my semi — but not really at all — amusing timeline. If we were to banish kids from school for making mistakes or punching a dude or anything that resembled stuff you all go pitchfork and soap-box crazy for, there wouldn’t be many kids attending classes. What if we just went all Deathstar on your life for whatever mistakes you made when you were in college or Gibbs’ age? I bet you wouldn’t be the head french fry master at the local food joint like you are today. So, yeah, thank your lucky stars.

Oh, and please, we see straight through you, soap-box/pitchfork guy. It is super easy to attack someone who can’t attack back for the sake of currying favor with whoever the hell you are trying to do so with. The idea that you get to judge someone who you have not a single thing in common with is just dumb — which makes you dumb. Again, you can have an opinion on this, but still, you’re probably dumb. Eh, I digress. Basketball — kind of.

Joseph Nardone (22 Posts)

Joseph has covered college basketball both (barely) professionally and otherwise for over five years. A Column of Enchantment for Rush The Court on Thursdays and other basketball stuff for The Student Section on other days.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 19th, 2015 at 11:01 am by Joseph Nardone and is filed under column of enchantment, Regular Features. Tagged: bill self, feature, kansas, perry ellis, saturday night live, seton hall, sterling gibbs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.