A Column of Enchantment: On Mark Emmert, the Big East & Christian Slater…
Posted by Joseph Nardone on December 11th, 2014Well, it looks like the idea of amateurism that the NCAA held so close to their hearts is about to die as horrible a death as all the victims in True Romance. This is according to — kind of — Mark Emmert, who is notorious for railing against the notion of paying players anything more than the always decreasing value of a college scholarship. Over the past few days Emmert has gone on a crusade concerning college basketball players, the NBDL, and letting student-athletes test the marketplace. Altruism at its finest? Probably not.
NCAA president Mark Emmert is Open to the Idea of Something (USA Today Images)
First thing’s first. It is clear that fancy pants Emmert is entertaining the idea of letting kids test the market but remain eligible to play hoops for free because he can see the writing on the wall. Between civil suits, possible labor law infractions, as well as a combination of common sense and logic, the foundation of the NCAA is essentially crumbling. The days of universities making tons of loot off the back of free labor seems like it is to become extinct like the dinosaurs and Cuba Gooding Jr’s career. Emmert, who often has as much foresight as a lobster looking to move to the desert, is attempting to keep the NCAA as relevant as humanly possible.
Unfortunately, the reason why Emmert seems to be focusing so much on the amateur hoops is because the amateur football might already be a lost cause. Rumors have been around long enough involving the Power 5 splitting from the NCAA that Emmert knows that the governing body of college sports has probably taken enough body blows that it might want to throw in the towel on its fictional idea of amateurism. I mean, it is that broken concept which has put them in this spot anyway. Might as well take a stab at college basketball because it relies so heavily upon the NCAA Tournament for its large portions of money. So, Since the NCAA is known to make up rules as it goes, even as far as overstepping their jurisdiction, there are probably no bylaws which state that the NCAA has to stay married to whatever it actually is that they believe amateurism is supposed to be.
That is all the boring stuff. At least for right now. Emmert is only open to the idea of discussing it. I just thought it would be nice to point out the hypocrisy of his latest statements. Not to mention the logistics of this entire shebang rests as much in the hands of the NBA as it does to the folks whose only ability is to have the inability to have a, you know, ability.
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On a much smaller, less complicated scale, it now seems like the new Big East is back to being a very respectable league. You wouldn’t be able to tell by some sites’ not including them in their “power conferences,” but there’s really no denying that the league is back to being more than formidable. Even better for the Catholic Seven Plus some, the American Athletic Conference (AAC!) might be falling apart at the seams. Personally, I fell in love with The American last year, but as a Big East homer knew that the new version of the league Mike Aresco helped stick more forks in than your mother’s meatloaf (I know, it wasn’t all his fault) would always be compared to the success of the AAC. With The American having the best start a conference can have as mandated by the smartest members of the human species, it looked as if the Big East would be perpetually wallowing in above mid-major but below power conference purgatory. Nevertheless, rumors have come out that some of their better basketball programs might be bolting for the Big 12, which is like leaving a young hot lady with a high ceiling for a more mature hot lady who has reached her peak, but is always all the local boys’ eye-candy.
Villanova Leads a Deep Big East Group This Season (USA Today Images)
Alas, here we are just a few weeks into the season and the Big East bandwagon is getting packed so tight that you could stick coal in that bad boy and a diamond would come out. Oh, and I don’t think that we have even mentioned that some of the more entertaining teams to watch in the nation are members of the B-East (that has to be coined by now, right?). St. John’s has abandoned the slow, methodical pace that it has run since Norm Roberts took over the program then Steve Lavin decided to keep despite it being a contradictory system to best use the roster’s talents. In that abomination’s place is a quicker style, with Sir’Dominic Pointer, a 6’6″ G/F seeing large minutes at the four and five. The Johnnies also have the one of the best shot-blocker/short-short wearers in the entire country in Chris Obekpa, one of the nation’s most entertaining volume-shooters in D’Angelo Harrison, and the much improved athletic freak Rysheed Jordan. It is fun to watch — even though they barely make any threes.
The rest of the league is filled with fun teams as well. Villanova’s beautiful play has only been outmatched by Jay Wright’s always classy suit selection. The always thinning Ed Cooley probably has Providence playing above its abilities (that is not a backhanded compliment). That is just the tip of the iceberg. We are — probably — literally only a few in-conference games away from Steve Wojciechowski losing his gosh slam marbles and slapping the floor as if it were the ’90s and Christian Slater were still a go-to actor for big-time movies — which brings us to a seriously important topic…
Christian Slater remains one of the most underrated actors of all-time. I’m not saying he is or was the Daniel Day-Lewis of his time, but the dude strung out some pretty big hits. Hell, he stole the show in The Wizard, Gleaming the Cube is still the best skateboarding movie ever, and not a soul on the planet breaks the fourth-wall better than Slater did in Kuffs. We haven’t even mentioned cult classics like Pump Up The Volume, Mindhunters (sneaky good), The Contender or the countless other roles where he either stole the movie as a bit player or dominated the film with his skills as an, um, skilled actor. And, as a bonus Christian Slater fact, rent Hallow Man 2. No, seriously. Not for the movie or anything, as it is pretty wretched even by Slater 2000 and on standards, but for the DVD extras. The man goes on weird spurts talking about replacing and working with the legend that is Kevin Bacon as well as mocks himself for large portions of what should be him actually talking about a really low-grade film. I can literally talk about Christian Slater all day, but this is supposed to be a college basketball-ish column and I’m running out of phalanges or something — likely something, but whatever. Eh, I digress.
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Did you hear that the Kentucky Wildcats run some form of platoon system? Really? Me too. Apparently it is going to revolutionize college basketball. All any other program needs are 10 legitimate NBA-ish — or at the least really good college players — to sub in and out if they were two different teams. While probably not actually revolutionary because it spits in the face of logic telling folks that it is impossible for that many college teams to each have that many good players, it is still something neat to watch. With that being said, though, don’t be an uneducated person that gets married to this platoon system movement thingamabob. The first time a player gets in foul trouble, games are close and the hot hand is needed, or any other than thing puts Kentucky in a sideways position, John Calipari isn’t going to sub out five for another fresh five just because platoon. Regardless, I think that — even though we are just a few weeks into the season — most of us are already sick of the platoon talk. It is weird, however, that not a soul has made a Charlie Sheen reference through this whole platoon rage. I guess it makes no sense to do such a thing because Kentucky is still winning.
Wait…did that count?
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It can now be publicly admitted that Coach K readily recruits one-and-dones, right? I have no problem with that or him concerning that matter. I do have a problem with you, though. Yeah, man, you. Why is it that Calipari or whichever “snakes oil salesman” does such a thing that it means he can’t coach on the hardwood or that he is some form of bad guy, but when Coach ALotOfLetterski (patent pending) does it that just means he is adapting to the times? Shouldn’t we be giving Cal or others more credit for being ahead of the game? Why are their so many question marks in this one paragraph? I guess we will never know.
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Last quick hit for your cool kids out there. A riddle for you to solve. If a college basketball program recruits more players than it has scholarships what happens?
The answer: Business. So I guess Mark Emmert knew what he was doing all along.
Talk about one incredibly long-winded setup for an iffy at best joke.
Joseph has covered college basketball both (barely) professionally and otherwise for over five years. A Column of Enchantment for Rush The Court on Thursdays and other basketball stuff for The Student Section on other days.
