Every house hands out something different on Halloween. Elation or disappointment are just a ring of the doorbell away, and you never know which one is behind the door. It’s much the same in the SEC, where each coach enters the season with plans to cook up something unique. So saunter up to the door and get your bag ready, because SEC coaches are doling out the goodies.
King-sized anything – John Calipari. Don’t pretend like you got dropped off in the country club section of town without hopes of piling your plastic pumpkin full of king-sized Snickers bars. How can Kentucky fans be anything but satisfied with what Coach Cal has served up since landing in Lexington? One championship and four Final Four appearances in six years are enough to keep any fan base content. 2015-16 should be more of the same, with All-American caliber sophomore point guard Tyler Ulis joining forces with another loaded freshmen class. But one of the keys towards making sure this is another king-sized season is a pair of players that are more accustomed to playing “fun-sized” roles in Lexington. Senior Alex Poythress was limited to just eight games last year after tearing his ACL, while junior Marcus Lee has never averaged more than 10 minutes per game in a season. Elite recruit and potential top-five pick Skal Labissiere will be the headliner in the frontcourt, but both Poythress and Lee will be heavily relied upon to provide production alongside the star freshman.
Pixy Stix – Mike Anderson. When you want a sugar rush — and fast — you reach for the sweet simplicity of Pixy Stix. When you want to watch fast-paced basketball, you watch the Arkansas Razorbacks. Mike Anderson’s teams have ranked among the top 25 teams nationally in Kenpom adjusted tempo in all four of his years in Fayetteville. However, the Pixy Stix sugar rush is also accompanied by an inevitable crash — something Anderson will look to avoid this season. Four of his top five scorers are gone, and his rotation was further complicated by off-the-court problems over the summer. Even more trouble came when one of his top recruits, Ted Kapita, wasn’t able to qualify. It might all add up to a trying transition season in Fayetteville, as the Hogs may fall far short of the success of last season’s group, whose season ended in the third round of the Tournament. Still, if nothing else, freshman Jimmy Whitt should be able to light up the scoreboard — even if the points are as empty as the calories in that paper tube of sugar.
Candy Corn – Ben Howland. There’s no more reliable October treat than candy corn. It’s seemingly been around forever and rarely disappoints. The same can be said for Howland, who landed his first head coaching job during the 1994-95 season and has won conference titles in the Big Sky, Big East and Pac-10/12 conferences in the 20 years since. Oh, and let’s not forget that run of three straight Final Four appearances at UCLA from 2006 to 2008, or the stream of NBA talent that facilitated it. But like candy corn that’s been left unpackaged for too long, things eventually grew stale in Westwood. Some of that failure might have resulted from outsized expectations, but other parts of it might have been personnel missteps. Howland should have more leeway in Starkville as he tries to rebuild a program that was once a perennial NCAA Tournament contender under Rick Stansbury (and not that long ago). He will have a chance to get off to a strong start in year one, with super freshman Malik Newman and now-healthy Craig Sword leading the way. If Howland has the Bulldogs competitive on an annual basis, expect the folks in Starkville to be very okay with the reliable sweetness of candy corn.
BeanBoozled Jelly Belly’s – Johnny Jones. That handful of red Jelly Belly’s sure looks tasty, doesn’t it? Whether it’s cherry, strawberry or watermelon, you just know they’re going to be delicious. But then you sink your teeth into one of those shiny little beans and all you taste is Tabasco sauce and the pit in your stomach could not arrive any faster. LSU fans are hoping to avoid that sensation with their basketball team this year. Johnny Jones’ teams almost always look great at first glance. Johnny O’Bryant, Jarell Martin and Jordan Mickey have all rolled through Baton Rogue under Jones, yet the Tigers have only managed one tournament appearance (a last second loss to NC State last year). This has, fairly or unfairly, given him the reputation as an underachiever. You should cut Jones a little slack, though: every single one of his teams have won at least 19 games. This year, Jones might have his most talented roster yet. The Bayou Bengals add two elite prospects (Ben Simmons and Antonio Blakeney) to team with a capable returning core, led by do-it-all junior Tim Quarterman. Fail to win a tournament game or two with this team and LSU fans may not be fooled any longer.
Pencils – Kim Anderson. We all know the fury that builds up when you open your bag and all that drops in are pencils adorned with black cats and boiling cauldrons. It’s true cruelty, and a form of torture most similar in the SEC to the situation Anderson has inherited at his alma mater. Frank Haith relied largely on transfers during his three years in Columbia, which meant Anderson had to rely on a lot of newcomers during his inaugural season. Following a nine-win campaign, two of his top three scorers, Jonathan Williams and Montaque Gill-Caesar, transferred out of the program. To top it off, the man who hired him (Mike Alden) retired, leaving his fate in the hands of new AD Mack Rhoades. Anderson will have to rely heavily on players without Division I experience in his frontcourt (particularly Russell Woods) and backcourt (Martavian Payne and Terrence Phillips) in his quest to display enough progress to convince his new boss he’s the man to turn Missouri basketball around. Another disappointing year could have Rhoades feeling like all he got for Halloween was a writing utensil.