Rush The Court

I like progressive things. Between looking for outside-the-box ideas or solutions, to not being stuck in the fictional ideal of tradition, even all the way to Flo the Progressive lady, looking to fix things — even if they aren’t currently broken — is the right way to go about living life. Still, it irks me that people are currently looking to make some major overhauls to college hoops because, well, the college football playoff was a huge success. Honestly, the two sports are completely different beasts. For one, and most importantly, college football is an incredibly more profitable sport. Even when dumb, non-progressive folks were saying that the playoff would ruin the sport, most sane people realized that it would not only increase viewership but also make the schools more loot — which is the end game for all universities. Basically, the college football world added one more game to its bowl system, rebranded it into a playoff, and poof, college football is even more popular.

Now, because it is easy to call for such things moments after another had such major success, smart people in the college basketball community want some reform. We aren’t talking paying the players reform, because that would be all too altruistic and right, but reducing the number of Division I teams type of reform. The person calling for it is ESPN commentator Jay Bilas, who is as smart, respected and progressive as they come. While I agree with some of his theoretical ideas, selfishly and hypothetically I disagree. Bilas wants fewer Division I teams for various educated reasons (I won’t go into them because his article is behind a paywall and I’m less knocking his idea as I am more supporting my own). So it is not as if he is wrong. He and I just have differing opinions on the matter. I — just as good looking as Bilas, but far less educated, respected and known — think college basketball is fine with the number of teams that are currently playing Division I hoops. I do think, though, that if we really wanted to get a bit more progressive with the sport, make more areas care and make it feel more local despite it being a national sport.

I get the idea of Division I hoops getting diluted by having approximately eleventy-billion teams currently playing basketball at that level. In fact, well, that is a fact. Despite there being a ton of high-quality players throughout the entire country, it is foolish to think that the 200th best team could regularly compete with the 40th best or that the conference in which the 200th team plays in — likely filled with other lower-end ranked teams — would be as good a product as the AAC or whichever other league is up there. So, that’s where we can get really progressive and ruin all the conference realignment altogether. Between all three divisions of college hoops but not including the JuCo level, there are thousands of programs. Literally thousands. I’m no mathematical wizard, but that sure seems like a lot. However, only about the top 30 of them actually matter on a national level, while only maybe 10 of those travel so well or are broadcasted so well that casual fans can tell you what is going on with them. That is like — again, no math skills here — .01 percent of programs that matter on a true, widely-scoped national level. So, here is what I propose; instead of focusing on making it such a national sport, take the part of Major League Baseball which decided to go a wee-bit regional and a part of major soccer leagues throughout the world and decide it is time to participate in the relegation game.

The latter of the two would make for some really, really complicated financial, logistical and all sorts of other problems. Most programs schedule year(s) ahead for much of their non-conference scheduling. That presents a major logistical problem. However, it isn’t something that can’t be easily fixed by having locked-in schedules for programs who move up or down in the new (and patent pending) Joseph Nardone’s three tiers of college basketball. Tier one is essentially Division I. Really, there is no need to rename anything. Division I, II and III are all fine. The only things that would need to change are the branding of the sport and how we go about the balancing act of it all. Examples of questions this newly tiered, relegation-style system would now face: How many teams — at a maximum — are allowed to play at the highest tier? How do we determine which teams get relegated while others get promoted? How would all three tiers handle TV, radio and other media rights contracts? You know, stuff of that nature.

I have theoretical answers for all of them, but my opinion is obviously not important. My hypothetical endgame is, though. Something like relegation in the probably diluted level of Division I hoops can help propel the sport to grow to a level it has never seen. Again, selfishly, it would give a guy like me who lives in the Scranton, Wilkes-Barre (PA) area a reason to cheer for local Division III teams like the Kings Monarchs, Scranton Royals and Wilkes, as my community may eventually see them compete at the Division I level.

Now, let’s be truthful with each other and realistic, something this complex and outside-the-box is as likely to happen as it is that Christina Ricci will finally go on a date with me. Simply put, not a single university president at the Division I level would vote yes to something like this. Not to mention that there would have to be some form of money-pool to be given to the really small programs for when they get promoted so they don’t go broke trying to travel on a Division I schedule. Back to the university presidents, though. Even the slightest inclination that their basketball program might drop a tier, or two, likely losing out on large sums of money, would be enough for them to call me every negative adjective in the book. So, um, something like that will never, ever happen — so, please, don’t feel it necessary to tell me why it won’t work. I know it won’t. I am just a selfish jerkface that wants local college basketball to thrive!

All in all, though, I prefer truly creative ideas rather than just “reduce the number of teams.” Yes, the college football reform was simple and took decades to put in place, but the college hoops community is filled with smart and progressive people. Someone out there, smarter than I (but certainly not equipped with as great a set of hair as I) can figure something out. Granted, I am not too sure that the game needs any real, widely-scoped reform to begin with.

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Not a lot of jokes in that weird, way too long reform section. I know you come to A Column of Enchantment for the bad jokes and not a way for me to selfishly plead to anyone to listen to make one of my local universities a Division I team (I am partial to the Kings going D-I, for what it’s worth, Mark Emmert and the Big East Conference, which could use another Catholic school). Traditionally, A Column of Enchantment touches on three topics, with bad jokes and pop-culture references mixed in. I went a tad bit long in that first area so I shall leave you with some horrible quick-hitters.

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Duke got crushed by Miami which resulted in its second loss of the season. Funny thing about that, though, is that the Blue Devils were likely to steal a lot of No. 1 votes on Kentucky because, I guess, the Wildcats are not allowed to play in close games. I’ve covered the weird, now bordering on truly hateful place that Kentucky basketball lives in the hearts of many to the point of nausea over the last few weeks. Here we have an example where supposedly unbiased, smart and educated reporters were going to give a team they traditionally love votes because the team they traditionally do not love as much struggled in a few conference games. When are people going to realize Coach K has fully embraced the John Calipari one-and-done approach? Or are we going to continue to ignore that so the folks who have hated on Cal don’t out themselves as hypocrites?

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For those coming out of their football-induced coma, the Gonzaga Bulldogs are the third-ranked team in the country, according to both major polls. This is not a time machine; Adam Morrison is no longer playing there and Mark Few is no longer rumored to go to whatever Pac-12 team that needs a boost to its faltering program. It is 2015, all the attention is still on all the schools, and yet the Bulldogs have continued to impress this season. Again, because it is apparently worthwhile to tie everything college basketball to college football, the Zags (CBB) are the Boise State (CFB) of the college hoops world. They may play in a mid-major conference, but they aren’t. Unlike their football counterparts, though, and despite their really early high-ranking, most of the free world still expects them to choke early in the NCAA Tournament.

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That was the least joke-filled A Column of Enchantment in its short history. If there isn’t one published next week that is because my boss (who actually thinks I am funny for some reason) finally realized I know very little about actual college basketball. “Mom, I made it! I’m a fraud,” said Joseph Nardone as he is pulled away from the laptop by the college basketball community cops. So, um, college hoops — kind of!