Our first submission comes from a friend living in California who grew up a George Mason fan and, at an early age, was given an important job:
Basketball players are really tall. And the “big men” generally live up to their name. Especially from the standpoint of a twelve-year-old sitting beneath the basket.
Long before Fairfax, Virginia adopted them as their very own Cinderella, the George Mason Patriots were working to perfect their “run-and-gun” style of play that earned them more victories than defeats in the Colonial Athletic Conference. It was during this earlier era that I was bestowed the high responsibility of drying the floor of player sweat in between plays. A trivial task? Maybe to non-12-year-olds. As they say, the harder they come, the harder they fall. And I don’t think the originator of that old saw considered leaping ability in the equation. When these guys fall, you hear it and you feel it. And if the fall had something to do with a wet spot – which for that day comprised the entirely of my existence – then you’d better have a good reason as to why that wasn’t taken care of when the ball was at the other end of the court. In these matters age most certainly does not matter.
I am proud to report than only several slips and no injuries were reported on the day I wielded the towel. I owe it all to my training. Yes, training. You think they let just anybody out to wipe the court? During pre-game warm-ups the athletic trainer took me and a few others aside to demonstrate proper drying techniques. Sometimes you can get away with the foot-wipe, using your foot to negotiate the towel around the court, but sometimes the hand-wipe is required. Much of this depends on the time available before the next possession. Believe me, when these guys are running at you down the court, considerations of self-preservation tend to override wetness determinations. I should also tell you that the foot-wipe allows you to transition most easily into a sprint, but don’t forget to leave the towel behind. That might ruin someone’s ankle.
For those of you interested in participating in the annual event of Pamplona, Spain, you might consider this line of work as a primer for the big race. It will improve your agility and dexterity. The pay is non-existent, but you’ll be witness to an entire side of college basketball that you generally don’t see on television, or even sitting in the arena. The Patriots remain one of the greatest shows on earth under Coach L. and I can assure you that the floor of the Patriot Center is one of the most attended-to surfaces in all the NCAA.